Sunday, December 25, 2005

Biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage

We don’t have a divorce law here in the Philippines. But we do have its equivalents (for example, declaration of nullity of a marriage based on Article 36 of the Family Code) which allow the estranged couple to marry other persons after their marriage has been declared null and void. Please take note that on the basis of Article 15 of the New Civil Code, a divorce obtained by a Filipino abroad will not be recognized here in the Philippines. Please read the following articles I have written on the issue of divorce and remarriage for Filipinos:

Divorce obtained abroad by a Filipino not recognized here

The right of a divorced Filipino spouse to remarry under Article 26 of the Family Code

Ruffa, Ylmaz, TV Patrol, divorce and remarriage by Filipinos; John and Gretchen?
The issue I wish to discuss here however is the Biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. I’m sure you have heard the expression “What is legal is not always moral, and what is moral is not always legal.” Well, let me rephrase it this way, “What is legal is not always Biblical, and what is Biblical is not always legal.”

Over the years, pastors and church members have asked me for advice on what to do in situations where a new believer in Christ is legally married but is now separated and living in with another partner. While I could outline the laws and legal procedures in annulling a marriage, I would always tell the church member to consult his pastor on whether he has Biblical grounds for annulling his marriage.

My discussion here is based primarily on three sources: (1) Chuck Swindoll’s book “Strike The Original Match”; (2) Kerby Anderson’s article on divorce from the Probe Ministries website; and (3) from the Radio Bible Class Ministries article “Divorce and Remarriage” by RBC research editor Herb Vander Lugt.

Swindoll’s views on divorce and remarriage

Chuck Swindoll describes it accurately when he said in his book (published by Multnomah Press, 1980) that a busload of evangelical theologians will never achieve unanimity in their views of divorce and remarriage even if the bus went on a tour for the whole summer. Some Filipino pastors will categorically state, “The Bible does not allow divorce under any circumstance, period. The Bible does not allow remarriage, either, period.”

My own views are similar to those propounded by Swindoll. He states that based on Matthew 19 and I Corinthians 7:12-15, there are three circumstances or grounds for a valid, Biblical divorce and remarriage. These are:

1. When the marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation;

2. When one’s mate is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully with the marriage partner;

3. When one of the mates is an unbeliever and willfully and permanently deserts the believing partner.

Swindoll closes his discussion by quoting John R.W. Stott (Church Counter-Culture, IVF Press 1978) who says, “Divorce was a divine concession to human weakness.” Swindoll adds, “No Christian should aggressively seek the dissolution of his or her marriage bond. Some of the very best things God has to teach His children are learned while working through marital difficulties. Endless stories could be told of how God honored the perseverance of abused and ignored parties as they refused to give up.”

Dr. Ed Wheat, M.D. in his book “Love Life for Every Married Couple” (reprinted in the Philippines by Christian Literature Crusade) echoes the same view in page 227: “Do not give your husband a divorce. Do all in your power to delay or prevent it. If you must consult a lawyer, make it clear to the lawyer that it is only for your financial protection and that of your children. Find a Christian lawyer who will help you preserve your marriage.”

Anderson’s views

Kerby Anderson agrees with Swindoll that divorce and remarriage are Biblical only “in cases of marital infidelity by the other spouse or in cases of desertion by an unbelieving spouse.” Anderson also warns that even in these cases, pastors and churches should encourage reconciliation, not divorce.

Anderson also briefly tackles the issue of domestic violence or spousal abuse. He says that “in very troubling cases which involve mental, sexual and/or physical abuse, legal separation is available as a remedy to protect the abused spouse.”

Vander Lugt’s views; spousal abuse as a ground for divorce and remarriage

The Radio Bible Class Ministries article by Vander Lugt discusses in greater detail the issue of domestic violence or spousal abuse as a ground for divorce. Vander Lugt basically agrees with Swindoll and Anderson that the Bible permits divorce and remarriage on two grounds: sexual infidelity and the desertion of a spouse by an unbeliever.

However, Vander Lugt argues that I Corinthians 7:10-11 is the Apostle Paul’s compassionate provision for an abused woman. He states, “ … a woman who is married to a physically abusive husband may not be sinning when, with the encouragement of her spiritual counselors, she seeks divorce action – even if her husband is not guilty of sexual immorality.” He adds however that in such a case, remarriage is not allowed.

It is clear from the previous citation of Swindoll, Anderson and Wheat’s views, that Vander Lugt departs completely from what is certainly the majority view on divorce and remarriage.

A lot of pastors will also find questionable Vander Lugt's views that:

1. “When two people whose divorces were not valid in God’s sight come together in the sexual union of marriage, they break their former marriage covenant. But this is not a continuing state. From this point on, they are husband and wife.

“God considers two people as married when they have met the civil requirements. This is true even when their divorces were not valid in God’s sight.”

2. “ … when two people marry after a divorce on grounds less than specified by Jesus and Paul, they sin against the covenant they made in the previous marriage. But this occurs only once. Their first sexual union breaks the former bind. The new marriage covenant is now in effect.”

Ptr. John MacArthur Jr. (I can’t remember the exact source) on the contrary, says that since the divorce is not Biblical, God doesn’t recognize the subsequent marriage. Most Filipino pastors I know would also take strong exceptions to these views by Vander Lugt. To be fair however, Vander Lugt doesn't simply pull these views out of thin air. He bases his views on the difference between the Greek word for fornication ("porneia") and for adultery ("moicheia"). You can read his complete article at the Radio Bible Class Ministries website.

I began this discussion with the statement, “What is legal is not always Biblical, and what is Biblical is not always legal.” Let me pose a situationer for you at this point.

The Family Code of the Philippines provides in Articles 41 up to 44 what is known as “declaration of presumptive death for purposes of remarriage.” If a spouse has been missing for two years (extraordinary absence) or four years (ordinary absence), and there is well founded belief that the absent spouse is dead, the present spouse can file a petition in court asking that the absent spouse be declared presumptively dead. After the court’s decision has become final and executory, the present spouse is now free to remarry.

That’s the law. My question to you is this: You’re a pastor and your church member says that he or she wants to avail of Articles 41 to 44 of the Family Code in order to marry someone. Would you say that the member has a Biblical reason for remarriage?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Welcome

Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Through this blog (a companion tool of my Family Matters website), I will discuss issues affecting the Filipino family primarily from a Biblical perspective. not from a legal perspective. For legal discussions of issues that affect the Filipino family, please surf to my Legal Updates blog.

Some topics I will discuss in this weblog are the following:

1. The “covenant marriage laws” of the states of Arizona, Arkansas and Louisiana, the covenant marriage movement in the USA, and how these can be made applicable here in the Philippines

2. Divorce and its equivalents here in the Philippines like annulment of voidable marriages, declaration of nullity of void marriages, and declaration of presumptive death for purposes of remarriage

We don’t have a divorce law in the Philippines, but the Family Code provides for its equivalents as I mentioned above. Over the years, pastors have asked me on what to do with their members who, before they were converted to Christ, were married to persons other than their current partners. My own views are similar to Chuck Swindoll’s discussion of divorce and remarriage in his book “Strike the Original Match.”

According to the DSWD, 40% of couples in the CALABARZON (Cavite, Laguna, Batangas, Rizal and Quezon) are merely living in. Tha’'s about 90,000 couples. Also, some media reports state that there are more than 400 annulment cases filed every month all over the Philippines.

Over the years, I have heard a lot of women cry. Please, take note! I didn’t say, “I made a lot of women cry.” I said, “I have heard a lot of women cry.” I have counseled numerous women who, for various reason, wanted to escape from their marriage. While these women have asked me for legal advice, oftentimes, they just wanted to be heard by someone with a sympathetic ear.

Some of the most tragic stories I have heard come from battered women. We now have Republic Act 9262 or the “Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004.” I will be discussing the details of this law in my Legal Updates blog.

Because of these experiences, I became interested in reading books on marriage and relationships. I now have several dozen books and articles on marriage and relationships, by authors like James Dobson, Willard Harley Jr, H. Norman Wright, Les and Leslie Parrott, Dr. Ed Wheat, etc.

In this blog, I will share with you some of the things I have learned from these authors and from my own experiences in counseling women. I am not married, and so my views may be limited by this factor. (I am, however. praying for a partner in life and ministry.)

I will also inform you from time to time of articles on marriage and relationships from websites of interest. One website that I recommend to you is www.loveandrespect.com by Emerson Eggerichs and his wife. Other ministries which offer a lot of in-depth articles on marriage and relationships are Probe Ministries at www.probe.org and Radio Bible Class at www.rbc.net.

Potentials of blogs for pastors, churches, and missionaries

As you know, a blog is a simplified of a website, capable of posting text documents and pictures, without the need of knowing all that technical HTML stuff. Anyone who knows a word processing program like MS Word can create and maintain a blog. The blog tool that you use may be commercial (that is, you have to pay a fee for its services and the hosting), or free (as provided by some entities on the Internet, although “free” means that ads will be placed on your blog in exchange.)

The blog is a vital tool for Baptist pastors and missionaries, enabling you to have a presence on the Internet. Instead of a website where you will be totally dependent on the guys who know the technical HTML stuff, you can use the blog to post articles (sermons, Sunday school lessons, devotionals, profiles of the staff and members, etc), schedules of activities and special programs, and pictures of church events.

Through a blog, Filipino missionaries to local and foreign fields can keep their supporting churches informed about their activities, schedules of deputation, needs and prayer requests. If you are interested in using the weblog, whether you are a pastor, missionary or group leader in your church, I can help you for free in three ways.

I can show you how to put up a weblog (although as I said, learning how to put up a weblog is easy when you know any word processing program).  

I can conduct a seminar for you or your church staff on writing news, features, editorials, and photography.  

You may be a Filipino missionary to a foreign field interested in putting up a blog, but you’re not that proficient in written English. You can e-mail me your articles (“post” or “posting” in the blog language) first. I will then edit your posts and send them back to you by e-mail. You can then post these edited articles into your blog.

I was a journalism teacher and schoolpaper adviser (Quezon City Science High School 1983-1984, and Rizal High School in Pasig, from 1984 up to 1995). Helping pastors, missionaries, and churches put up and maintain a weblog is one of my ministries. You can e-mail me at gtgalacio@yahoo.com, and we can arrange the schedule.

Free seminars for churches, schools, and barangays

I also give free lecture-seminars to churches, schools, barangays and other organizations on the following topics: (1) Essential Provisions of the Family Code; (2) RA 9262 Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004; (3) Procedures in Administrative Cases Against Teachers; and (4) Photojournalism for grade schools and high schools, and youth groups. Any group which wants to hold these seminars can just contact me at gtgalacio@yahoo.com for available schedules.

While these seminars are free, you need to help me in terms of transportation expenses, especially for churches outside of the Metro Manila area.

Churches may hold these seminars as part of their outreach to their communities. Last summer, I had the privilege of lecturing on Republic Act 9262 in places like Laguna (Kalayaan, Lumban, Victoria, Alaminos), Batangas (Sto. Tomas) and Cavite City. The hardworking municipal and city SWDOs coordinated these seminars. Previously, I conducted two RA 9262 seminars for the DSWD Region IV-A social workers held at the Haven for Abused Women, and at Max’s Restaurant in Ayala Alabang Town Center.

November 24, I was invited through Ptr. Vincent Santos Diaz, to give a legal lecture as part of the symposium of the Baptist Missions Partners (BMP), an organization under the leadership of Missionary-Pastor Edwin Tan. The conference was held in La Vista Resort in Pansol, Laguna.

“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.“For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”

James 4:14-15