“Sacred Romance” and other books by John Eldredge

Early morning today, according to my Bravenet site meter, my Legal Updates blog reached beyond 10,000 visitors since October 2007. With a daily average of 70+ visitors from more than 50 countries around the world, some 25,000 viewers will visit that blog this year. Considering the time spent on site and number of page views, not all of these visits are or will be significant. But the figures are gratifying for any blogger, nevertheless.

The service I provide in my blogs and in my Family Matters website is free legal information and Biblical counseling. As I told one person who e-mailed me, what is legal is not always Biblical, and what is Biblical is not always legal. In my website and blogs however, what is Biblical will always take precedence.

Despite this milestone for the Legal Updates blog, two things sadden me:

One, the most visited pages of the Legal Updates blog are those dealing with annulment or declaration of nullity of marriage; the article I wrote about entertainer Amy Perez’s petition to have her marriage to Brix Ferraris declared null and void; and the article dealing with adultery, concubinage, and psychological violence.

Two, there are more people who visit the Legal Updates blog than this blog you are viewing right now (Salt and Light). Compared to Legal Updates, this blog is limping along with only 5,000+ visitors since October 2007. It seems that there are more people who want to know about how to end their marriage than people concerned about building stronger marriages.

I remember Valentine’s Day last year. I received an e-mail from a woman, competent and highly successful in her profession. The problem was, her professional success had led to the breakdown of her marriage because her husband had become totally insecure. The question she desperately asked me was, “Is there hope for my marriage?” I spent the whole afternoon of that Valentine’s Day answering the e-mail, assuring her that yes, there was still hope for her marriage.

Anyway, on this significant day, please let me share with you some of the delights I have had in reading John Eldredge’s books. I do not agree with everything Eldredge says, but in terms of writing style, I think he is one of the best I have read. (Probe Ministries, for example, criticizes Eldredge for equating manliness with recklessness.)

“The Sacred Romance”

The very first book by Eldredge I read was “The Sacred Romance” (co-written with Brent Curtis). I got hooked on the book after I read the back cover and the first two pages. I could not put the book down after that and I read it through. I gave that first copy of “Sacred Romance” to a former high school yearbook staffer as a birthday gift. (She told me later that her father read the book before her; she gave birth recently to her first child named Sean Elijah.)

I then bought another copy of “Sacred Romance” and read it through again. Around four years ago, I gave that second copy to a very special woman. I told her that if there was only one book I could ever give her, it was “Sacred Romance.”

Here’s an example of Eldredge’s excellent writing from the chapter entitled “God the Ageless Romancer” which is actually the core of the book.

We so long for life to be better than it is. We wish the beauty and love and adventure would stay and that someone strong and kind would show us how to make the Arrows go away. We hope that God will be our hero. Of all the people in the universe, he could stop the Arrows and arrange for just a little more blessing in our lives. He can spin the earth, change the weather, topple governments, obliterate armies, and resurrect the dead. Is it too much to ask that he intervene in our story? But he often seems aloof, almost indifferent to our plight, so entirely out of our control. Would it be any worse if there were no God? If he didn't exist, at least we wouldn't get our hopes up. We could settle once and for all that we really are alone in the universe and get on with surviving as best we may.

This is, in fact, how many professing Christians end up living: as practical agnostics. Perhaps God will come through, perhaps he won't, so I'll be hanged if I'll live as though he had to come through. I'll hedge my bets and if he does show up, so much the better. The simple word for this is godlessness. Like a lover who's been wronged, we guard our heart against future disappointment.

When we feel that life is finally up to us it becomes suffocating. When we are the main character, the world is so small there's barely room to move. It frees our souls to have something going on before us that involves us, had us in mind, yet doesn't depend on us or culminate in us, but invites us up into something larger. And what about the Romance and the Arrows? It wasn't supposed to be like this. Once upon a time we lived in a garden; we lived in the place for which we were made. There were no Arrows, only beauty. Our relationships weren't tainted with fear, guardedness, manipulation, quid pro quo. Our work was rewarding; we received more than we gave. There is beauty, and we so long for it to last; we were made for the Garden. But now there is affliction also, and that is because we live East of Eden. The Arrows seem like the truest part of life, but they are not. The heart of the universe is still perfect love.

Finally, if we try to relate to God primarily as Author, we will go mad or despair–pretty much the same thing. I just can't imagine the characters of a novel affecting the author that much. He may like them, hate them, be intrigued with mapping out their development, but they don't impact him the way the people in his real life do. He doesn't live with them as flesh-and-blood lovers. But when we see God as the Hero of the story and consider what he wants for us, we know one thing for certain: We affect him. We impact the members of the Trinity as truly as they do each other. It is only when we see God as the Hero of the larger story that we come to know his heart is good.

Other books by Eldredge I have read are “Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul” and “The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We’ve Only Dreamed Of”. Barnes and Noble provided the synopsis of the books below and you can read sample chapters also from Barnes and Noble. You can buy copies of these books locally from OMF Lit in Boni Avenue, Mandaluyong, in PCBS outlets, and Back to the Bible Bookstore in West Avenue. Eldredge’s books are a little bit expensive (“Sacred Romance is about four hundred pesos), but they are definitely worth every peso.

The Journey of Desire: Searching for the Life We’ve Only Dreamed Of

Synopsis by Barnes and Noble (sample chapter available)

Sometimes it seems we just can't get what we want. Circumstances thwart our best-laid plans. We struggle to live a heartfelt life. Worst of all, says Eldredge, the modern church mistakenly teaches its people to kill desire (calling it sin) and replace it with duty or obligation (calling it sanctification). As a result, at best Christians tend to live safe, boring lives of resignation. At worst, their desire eventually breaks out in destructive ways such as substance abuse, affairs, and pornography addictions. In The Journey of Desire, Eldredge invites readers to rediscover God-given desire and to search again for the life they once dreamed of.

Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
Synopsis by Barnes and Noble (sample chapter available)

God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free.