Relationship tips from Lois Lane and Superman, MJ and Spiderman

About a week ago, while having lunch, I caught glimpses on cable TV of the 2006 “Superman” movie. You probably know the story. After several years of absence, Superman (played by Brandon Routh) came back to Earth. And why did he move away in the first place?

I didn’t get the see the whole movie but from what I understand, Lois Lane (played by the gorgeous Kate Bosworth) wrote a scathing newspaper article entitled “Why the world doesn’t need Superman” and that gave Superman a super-sized heartbreak that could only be healed in cosmic hibernation. Well at the end of the movie, Kate (I mean, Lois Lane) sits down before her laptop, begins typing “Why the world needs Superman” but couldn’t continue. Then tears start welling up in her eyes … (This scene reminds me of Omar Khayyam’s quatrain which goes like this: “Ah Love! Could you and I with Him conspire, To grasp this sorry scheme of things entire; Would not we shatter it to bits and then remold it nearer to the heart’s desire.”)

Lessons? Bite your tongue! Keep your mouth shut! Stop yourself from sending that flaming e-mail or text message! Oftentimes, in a fit of anger or jealousy, you say things that you really never meant to say. Or you said things in a harsh tone of voice. What’s worse than not being able to take your words back is that, in this day and age of the Internet and mobile phones, the person you fought with can repeatedly review your flaming e-mail or text message. The Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament has numerous verses on wisely holding back our angry words. Perhaps you might want to review my post “Why Marriages Fail: He said, She said ...”

That was the 2006 movie. I just read from Wikipedia that in the current comics version of Superman, Clark Kent and Lois Lane are married. Yahoo! Hope springs eternal!

MJ and Spiderman: Lessons in communication, listening, and forgiveness

You have probably seen the Spiderman movie series with Tobey Maguire (the wall-crawling hero) and Kirsten Dunst (MJ, the love interest). In the last scenes of “Spiderman 3,” MJ looked absolutely stunning in a white blouse tucked into a black skirt. Do you remember that scene when Spiderman was in a restaurant about to ask MJ to marry him? MJ was so preoccupied with losing her starring role in a theater production. While she was trying to explain in the typical feminine way (that is, going around in circles before getting to the point of what was bothering her), Spidey interrupted her (so typical of men to interrupt!) and said that he knew exactly how she felt. MJ then walked out of the restaurant and Spidey’s marriage proposal went unsaid.

Later on, Spiderman was in deep anguish over learning of the true identity of his uncle’s killer. MJ then visited him in his apartment to offer all the love and emotional support that she felt he needed during that time of personal crisis. But Spiderman, out of pride and still nursing a broken heart, refused to accept whatever comfort MJ wanted to give him.

What’s the lesson here? Spiderman should have taken that visit as a cue that MJ really cared about him. He should have forgiven and taken her back. (This is just a movie, okay? Of course, Spiderman had to act the way he did, otherwise the movie would not have proceeded the way the movie was written.)

Another lesson however is that when we do have to say sorry for whatever we may have said or done, we’ve got to say it in words, loud and clear, so that there won’t be any misinterpretations. That calls for humility and swallowing our pride. Marriage counselors have said that a lot of times, a husband tenderly initiates lovemaking as his way of asking forgiveness from his wife. But that often backfires since the wife does not want to have sex when she is still stewing over their previous argument. As Emerson Eggerichs says in his book Love and Respect, “When a woman’s spirit is crushed, her body is unavailable.”

Well, well, well, Lois Lane and Superman, MJ and Spiderman, Kate Bosworth and Kirsten Dunst ... Wikipedia says that Beyonce Knowles will play Lois Lane in the next Superman movie. Hmm, I wonder what lessons in relationships we will learn from her ...