Sunday, March 30, 2008

Urban legends on marriage and separation in the Philippines

The dictionary defines “urban legend” as “an apocryphal, secondhand story told as true, plausible enough to be believed, and likely to be framed as a cautionary tale, about some horrific, embarrassing, ironic, or exasperating series of events that supposedly happened to a real person.” That’s quite a mouthful but simply stated, an urban legend can mean a story or an idea that is widely believed but which lacks any factual basis. 

Here in the Philippines, certain ideas about marriage and separation of spouses have achieved the status of urban legends. These are:

[1] If husband and wife have not seen each other for more than seven years, their marriage is already void.

[2] A husband and wife can declare in a notarized document that they are free to marry other persons and they will not file charges against each other.

I have previously discussed how seriously mistaken these ideas are in two articles in my Legal Updates blog. I am surprised by how widely believed these things are among Filipinos and so I am reprinting both articles in this post. Okay, here we go!

If husband and wife have not seen each other for more than seven years, does it mean that their marriage is already void?

It is not accurate to say that if spouses have not seen or communicated with each other for more than seven years that the marriage is terminated automatically or is considered void. In situations where one spouse has not seen for a number of years or does not know what has happened to the other spouse, he or she must file a petition asking the court to declare the missing spouse as presumptively dead for purposes of remarriage.

The Family Code, specifically Articles 41 to 44, deals with the declaration of presumptive death for purposes of remarriage. There are a lot of misconceptions however about this part of the Family Code. Please let me explain.

[1] Article 40 provides that persons cannot take the law into their own hands and simply declare by themselves that their marriage is null and void. A person wanting to remarry must first obtain a court decision declaring the previous marriage null and void before getting married again.

[2] The Family Code only provides for a period of two years (extraordinary absence like in war, shipwreck, storm, etc) or four years (ordinary absence) for a person to be able to go to court and file a petition for declaration of presumptive death of the missing spouse. The seven years separation that people usually refer to was previously provided for by the New Civil Code.

[3] The court will however require the petitioner to present proof that he or she exerted earnest and diligent efforts to locate the whereabouts of the missing spouse. These efforts include asking the police or NBI for help in locating the missing spouse, using the media like newspapers or radio, etc. The court will deny the petition if the petitioner cannot present such evidence of earnest and diligent efforts to locate the missing spouse.

[4] If the court declares the missing spouse as presumptively dead, then the petitioner will be able to remarry.

[5] But the problem is if any person (friend, relative, barangay official, etc) discovers that the missing spouse is really alive, then that person can file an affidavit of reappearance with the Local Civil Registrar. If the petitioner had already gotten married, then that subsequent marriage is automatically terminated. This is provided for by Article 42 of the FC.

Posted below are the specific provisions of the Family Code on this matter:

Art. 40. The absolute nullity of a previous marriage may be invoked for purposes of remarriage on the basis solely of a final judgment declaring such previous marriage void. (n)

Art. 41. A marriage contracted by any person during subsistence of a previous marriage shall be null and void, unless before the celebration of the subsequent marriage, the prior spouse had been absent for four consecutive years and the spouse present has a well-founded belief that the absent spouse was already dead. In case of disappearance where there is danger of death under the circumstances set forth in the provisions of Article 391 of the Civil Code, an absence of only two years shall be sufficient.
For the purpose of contracting the subsequent marriage under the preceding paragraph the spouse present must institute a summary proceeding as provided in this Code for the declaration of presumptive death of the absentee, without prejudice to the effect of reappearance of the absent spouse. (83a)
Art. 42. The subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall be automatically terminated by the recording of the affidavit of reappearance of the absent spouse, unless there is a judgment annulling the previous marriage or declaring it void ab initio.


A sworn statement of the fact and circumstances of reappearance shall be recorded in the civil registry of the residence of the parties to the subsequent marriage at the instance of any interested person, with due notice to the spouses of the subsequent marriage and without prejudice to the fact of reappearance being judicially determined in case such fact is disputed. (n)

Art. 43. The termination of the subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall produce the following effects:

(1) The children of the subsequent marriage conceived prior to its termination shall be considered legitimate;

(2) The absolute community of property or the conjugal partnership, as the case may be, shall be dissolved and liquidated, but if either spouse contracted said marriage in bad faith, his or her share of the net profits of the community property or conjugal partnership property shall be forfeited in favor of the common children or, if there are none, the children of the guilty spouse by a previous marriage or in default of children, the innocent spouse;

(3) Donations by reason of marriage shall remain valid, except that if the donee contracted the marriage in bad faith, such donations made to said donee are revoked by operation of law;

(4) The innocent spouse may revoke the designation of the other spouse who acted in bad faith as beneficiary in any insurance policy, even if such designation be stipulated as irrevocable; and

(5) The spouse who contracted the subsequent marriage in bad faith shall be disqualified to inherit from the innocent spouse by testate and intestate succession.(n)

Art. 44. If both spouses of the subsequent marriage acted in bad faith, said marriage shall be void ab initio and all donations by reason of marriage and testamentary dispositions made by one in favor of the other are revoked by operation of law. (n)
Can a husband and wife in a notarized document declare that they are free to marry other persons and they will not file charges against each other?

Several individuals, either personally or by e-mail, have asked me about situations where the husband and wife have decided to call it quits after a long period of physical separation, physical or psychological abuse, or because of the loss of love for each other. Instead of going through the judicial process of having their marriage declared null and void, however, the husband and wife have asked a lawyer-notary public (in some instances, barangay officials or even a judge) to prepare and notarize a document where they have declared that both parties are now free to marry other persons and that they will not file charges of adultery or concubinage against each other. The question I have been asked is, Is this document legally valid?

The Supreme Court has ruled consistently as far back as 1933 (that’s 75 years ago!) in the case of Panganiban vs. Borromeo 58 Phil. 367 that such documents are illegal, immoral and void because they undermine and subvert the institution of marriage. Judges, lawyers and notaries-public who have prepared and signed such documents have been reprimanded severely (in terms of suspension or disbarment) by the Court. And yet, either because of ignorance or misconceptions of the law by the man on the street or by the desire of some lawyers-notaries public to make a fast buck, this kind of agreement and document still seem to be floating around.

Below are excerpts from the 1976 decision of the Supreme Court in the case of “Redentor Albano, complainant, vs. Municipal Judge Patrocinio C. Gapusan of Dumalneg, Ilocos Norte, responden”. In this case, Judge Gapusan (before his appointment to the judiciary) prepared and notarized a document providing for the personal separation of husband and wife and the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership. The Supreme Court censured Judge Gapusan for his act of preparing and notarizing such a document.

Redentor Albano in a verified complaint dated August 18, 1975 charged Municipal Judge Patrocinio C. Gapusan of Dumalneg and Adams, Ilocos Norte (1) with incompetence and Ignorance of the law for having prepared and notarized a document providing for the personal separation of husband and wife and the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership and (2) with having allegedly influenced Judge Zacarias A. Crispin of the Court of First Instance of Ilocos Norte in deciding two criminal cases.

In 1941 or five years before his appointment to the bench, respondent Gapusan notarized a document for the personal separation of the spouses Valentina Andres and Guillermo Maligta of Barrio 6, Vintar, Ilocos Norte and for the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership.

It was stipulated in that document that if either spouse should commit adultery or concubinage, as the case may be, then the other should refrain from filing an action against the other.
Judge Gapusan denied that he drafted the agreement. He explained that the spouses had been separated for a long time when they signed the separation agreement and that the wife had begotten children with her paramour. He said that there was a stipulation in the agreement that the spouses would live together in case of reconciliation. His belief was that the separation agreement forestalled the occurrence of violent incidents between the spouses.

Albano in filing the malpractice charge is in effect asking this Court to take belated disciplinary action against Judge Gapusan as a member of the bar or as a notary. (He was admitted to the bar in 1937).

There is no question that the covenants contained in the said separation agreement are contrary to law, morals and good customs (Biton vs. Momongan, 62 Phil. 7). Those stipulations undermine the institutions of marriage and the family, "Marriage is not a mere contract but an inviolable social institution". "The family is a basic social institution which public policy cherishes and protects." (Arts. 52 and 216, Civil Code). Marriage and the family are the bases of human society throughout the civilized world (Adong vs. Cheong Seng Gee, 43 Phil. 43; Ramirez vs. Gmur, 42 Phil. 855, 864; Goitia vs. Campos Rueda, 35 Phil. 252, 254; Brown vs. Yambao, 102 Phil. 168).

To preserve the institutions of marriage and the family, the law considers as void "any contract for personal separation between husband and wife" and "every extrajudicial agreement, during the marriage, for the dissolution of the conjugal partnership" (Art. 221, Civil Code). Before the new Civil Code, it was held that the extrajudicial dissolution of the conjugal partnership without judicial sanction was void (Quintana vs. Lerma, 24 Phil. 285; De Luna vs. Linatoc, 74 Phil. 15).

A notary should not facilitate the disintegration of a marriage and the family by encouraging the separation of the spouses and extrajudically dissolving the conjugal partnership. Notaries were severely censured by this Court for notarizing documents which subvert the institutions of marriage and the family (Selanova vs. Mendoza, Adm. Matter No. 804-CJ, May 19, 1975, 64 SCRA 69; Miranda vs. Fuentes, Adm. Case No. 241, April 30, 1966, 16 SCRA 802; Biton vs. Momongan, supra,, Panganiban vs. Borromeo, 58 Phil. 367; In re Santiago, 70 Phil. 66; Balinon vs. De Leon, 94 Phil. 277).

Respondent Gapusan as a member of the bar should be censured for having notarized the void separation agreement already mentioned.
(Emphasis by boldfacing supplied)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Can a husband and wife in a notarized document declare that they are free to marry other persons and they will not file charges against each other?

Several persons, either in person or by e-mail, have asked me about situations where the husband and wife have decided to call it quits after a long period of physical separation, physical or psychological abuse, or because of the loss of love for each other. Instead of going through the judicial process of having their marriage declared null and void, however, the husband and wife have asked a lawyer-notary public (in some instances, barangay officials or even a judge) to prepare and notarize a document where they have declared that both parties are now free to marry other persons and that they will not file charges of adultery or concubinage against each other. The question I have been asked is, Is this document legally valid?

The Supreme Court has ruled consistently as far back as 1933 (that’s 75 years ago!) in the case of Panganiban vs. Borromeo 58 Phil. 367 that such documents are illegal, immoral and void because they undermine and subvert the institution of marriage. Judges, lawyers and notaries-public who have prepared and signed such documents have been reprimanded severely (in terms of suspension or disbarment) by the Court. And yet, either because of ignorance or misconceptions of the law by the man on the street or by the desire of some lawyers-notaries public to make a fast buck, this kind of agreement and document still seem to be floating around.

Below are excerpts from the 1976 decision of the Supreme Court in the case of “Redentor Albano, complainant, vs. Municipal Judge Patrocinio C. Gapusan of Dumalneg, Ilocos Norte, responden”. In this case, Judge Gapusan (before his appointment to the judiciary) prepared and notarized a document providing for the personal separation of husband and wife and the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership. The Supreme Court censured Judge Gapusan for his act of preparing and notarizing such a document.

Redentor Albano in a verified complaint dated August 18, 1975 charged Municipal Judge Patrocinio C. Gapusan of Dumalneg and Adams, Ilocos Norte (1) with incompetence and Ignorance of the law for having prepared and notarized a document providing for the personal separation of husband and wife and the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership and (2) with having allegedly influenced Judge Zacarias A. Crispin of the Court of First Instance of Ilocos Norte in deciding two criminal cases.

In 1941 or five years before his appointment to the bench, respondent Gapusan notarized a document for the personal separation of the spouses Valentina Andres and Guillermo Maligta of Barrio 6, Vintar, Ilocos Norte and for the extrajudicial liquidation of their conjugal partnership.

It was stipulated in that document that if either spouse should commit adultery or concubinage, as the case may be, then the other should refrain from filing an action against the other.
Judge Gapusan denied that he drafted the agreement. He explained that the spouses had been separated for a long time when they signed the separation agreement and that the wife had begotten children with her paramour. He said that there was a stipulation in the agreement that the spouses would live together in case of reconciliation. His belief was that the separation agreement forestalled the occurrence of violent incidents between the spouses.

Albano in filing the malpractice charge is in effect asking this Court to take belated disciplinary action against Judge Gapusan as a member of the bar or as a notary. (He was admitted to the bar in 1937).

There is no question that the covenants contained in the said separation agreement are contrary to law, morals and good customs (Biton vs. Momongan, 62 Phil. 7). Those stipulations undermine the institutions of marriage and the family, "Marriage is not a mere contract but an inviolable social institution". "The family is a basic social institution which public policy cherishes and protects." (Arts. 52 and 216, Civil Code). Marriage and the family are the bases of human society throughout the civilized world (Adong vs. Cheong Seng Gee, 43 Phil. 43; Ramirez vs. Gmur, 42 Phil. 855, 864; Goitia vs. Campos Rueda, 35 Phil. 252, 254; Brown vs. Yambao, 102 Phil. 168).

To preserve the institutions of marriage and the family, the law considers as void "any contract for personal separation between husband and wife" and "every extrajudicial agreement, during the marriage, for the dissolution of the conjugal partnership" (Art. 221, Civil Code). Before the new Civil Code, it was held that the extrajudicial dissolution of the conjugal partnership without judicial sanction was void (Quintana vs. Lerma, 24 Phil. 285; De Luna vs. Linatoc, 74 Phil. 15).

A notary should not facilitate the disintegration of a marriage and the family by encouraging the separation of the spouses and extrajudically dissolving the conjugal partnership. Notaries were severely censured by this Court for notarizing documents which subvert the institutions of marriage and the family (Selanova vs. Mendoza, Adm. Matter No. 804-CJ, May 19, 1975, 64 SCRA 69; Miranda vs. Fuentes, Adm. Case No. 241, April 30, 1966, 16 SCRA 802; Biton vs. Momongan, supra,, Panganiban vs. Borromeo, 58 Phil. 367; In re Santiago, 70 Phil. 66; Balinon vs. De Leon, 94 Phil. 277).

Respondent Gapusan as a member of the bar should be censured for having notarized the void separation agreement already mentioned.
(Emphasis by boldfacing supplied)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

And the two shall become one …

But which one?
Okay, okay, I am sure you have heard this joke before. What is not a joke however is the dreary state of the institution of marriage in these days. The DSWD has reported that 40% of the couples in CALABARZON are merely living in. That translates to about 90,000 couples who either do not believe in marriage or who are legally married to persons other than their current partners.

Since December 2005 when I started giving free legal information and Biblical counseling through my Family Matters website, more than 500 persons have e-mailed me availing of this service. Probably 80% of my counselees have been women who [1] have been abandoned by their husband and who want to know how to get financial support; or [2] want to escape from their marriage or an abusive relationship. Truly, marriage is the most difficult human relationship.

The reality of conflict in marriages

You see, there will always be conflicts between a man and a woman within the framework of marriage. Genesis 3: 16 says, “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Some people have said that the expression “thy desire shall be to thy husband” refers to a woman’s sexual desire for her husband, but we know that in a lot of situations that desire isn’t there.

Conservative theologians like Woodrow Kroll say (correctly, in my opinion) that Genesis 3:16 should be read in relation with Genesis 4: 7 which states, “If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” These theologians say that the expression “unto thee shall be his desire” in Genesis 4:7 is similar in words and grammar as Genesis 3:16.

Thus, the proper interpretation of “thy desire shall be unto thy husband” is that there will be conflicts and struggles between a husband and a wife in their sinful state as the woman tries to wrest control over the relationship divinely ordained for the man. (Please read my article on “The Myth of Mutual Submission” for more on this issue.)

The reality of conflict even in Christian marriages

Three years ago, I talked with a newly married woman, offering to lend her my copy of Dr. Willard Harley’s book “Love Busters, Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love.” Incredibly, she said that she didn’t need to read it, or any book on marriage and relationships for that matter, because her marriage was “God-ordained.”

Contrast this naive belief with what Debra Evans says in her book “The Christian Woman’s Guide to Sexuality” (copyright 1997; published by Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois). Speaking to wives about the realities of marriage, Evans says in page xiv,

“Marriage requires our strenuous commitment – a continuing, conscious effort to remain open and obedient to God’s transforming work in our lives – over a period, in many cases, of hundreds of months and thousands of days. A successive series of seasons will bring changes, some welcome and some not, to the cherished bond we share with our husbands. Adapting across a span of years takes us deep into the hidden places of our hearts.”
Together ... forever!

Or as Anne Kristin Carroll says in page 168 of her book “Together Forever” (a Zondervan book), “The best marriages are still made up of two human beings, and as much as they may love each other, at some time, or some place, they will disappoint one another.”
Carroll knows whereof she speaks. Divorced at 18 from her childhood sweetheart, she met and married another man at age twenty-one. She eventually got divorced again but by God’s grace, she reconciled with and remarried that same man.

“Together Forever” was first published in 1982; that was a year after martial law was lifted in the Philippines, and I was just beginning my teaching career in Dona Aurora High School in San Mateo, Rizal. Despite the passage of some twenty five years however, Carroll’s insights and advice have remained solid and relevant.

The bulk of her book is divided into chapters discussing the different problems (and solutions, thankfully) in marriage These problems and some of their symptoms are:

[1] Marriage Without Christ: lives with constant problems and no solutions; the Sunday Christians; intellectual understanding of Christ and God’s purpose for Him with no personal relationship; lives which fail to produce the fruit of the Spirit – gentleness, peace, forgiving nature, kindness; a self-righteous attitude; general resentment against life.

[2] Poor Self-Image = Poor Marriage : adultery; suicidal tendencies; feelings of inferiority; constant state of apology; materialism; depression, fear, insecurity; withdrawal; the perfectionist; critical spirit; constant search for approval; inability to trust God.

[3] God Accepts Your Mate. Why Can’t You? : critical attitude towards the spouse and others; constantly comparing one’s spouse with another; adultery; alcoholism; communication breakdown; sexual failure; superior or self-righteous attitude.

[4] The Communication Blackout : constant misunderstanding; singular or mutual distrust; resentment; game-playing; mask-wearing; mates who talk too much; continual superficial conversation; emotional divorce.

[5] Who Wears the Pants? : hostility and strife in the home; aggressive, insecure female; withdrawn male; overbearing male; rebellious children; open or suppressed frustration.

[6] Sex Was God’s Idea : total disinterest; overemphasis on the physical; feminine or masculine manipulation; unconfessed guilt; jealousy; impotence, sterility; unsettled differences.

[7] The Big “I” : stubborn spirit; unforgiving nature; rebellion to God’s authority; restlessness and frustration; critical or cynical attitude; loneliness; withdrawal and daydreaming.
Emotional barriers to happiness in marriage

Carroll in Chapter 12 of her book tackles the “Emotional Barriers to Happiness and How To Overcome Them.” These barriers which Carroll describes as the most common problems, trials, strains and everyday annoyances of marriage, are the following:

  • How should you respond when you have made a mistake?
  • How am I to react when my mate fails, sins, or disappoints me?
  • How should criticism be given?
  • How do I deal with anger and arguments?
  • How to deal with depression?
  • How do you respond to a mate filled with mental-attitude sins?
  • How can I get my mate to admire and praise me?
  • How am I to deal with temptations which come into my life?
  • How do I handle fear?
  • How do I deal with boredoms in my life?
  • How do I handle sleepless nights and insomnia?
  • How to handle general irritations and problems?
  • What exactly is faith and how do I put it into practice?
  • How can I learn to trust my mate who has so often lied, cheated or rejected me? How can I trust my mate who has committed adultery when he or she is out of my sight?
  • What do I do about my husband who is in the armed services and away from home much of the time?
  • What about in-laws?
What distinguishes Carroll’s book from other books on marriage and relationships written by psychologists and counselors is found in her Afterword entitled “The Survivor’s Reward.” Reflecting on the true nature of marriage and what life really is all about, Carroll states:

How we moment by moment think, act, and relate with our mates is either God’s way, which is pure gold, or our way, which amounts to wood, hay and stubble and will be discarded and burned up when we stand before God.

Use every opportunity to present Him through thought, word, and action to your mate, children, family, and a lost world. What opportunities, what rewards, if you are only faithful! And what joy! Yes, joy, because in Jesus there is total, complete, fulfilling joy – now and for all eternity. These are just some of the heavenly rewards promised to those totally committed to Him.
Saving your marriage alone

Carroll ends her book with words of encouragement and affirmation for the person struggling, often alone, to save his or her marriage. She says, “Regardless of the strain on your relationship – adultery, incest, drugs, alcohol, homosexuality, divorce, etc. – with God, no relationship is beyond transformation, beyond hope. With God all things are possible and victory awaits you.” She then quotes the Apostle Paul’s words in I Corinthians 13:

1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.
4. Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8. Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13. And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.