Hope and help for the battered woman (2): RA 9262 essential provisions

Please surf over to my Legal Updates blog for a discussion in question and answer format of the essential provisions of Republic Act 9262.

For RA 9262 and other cases involving women, you can ask for help from the following:

Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) Crisis Intervention Unit (CIU) Rehabilitation Unit Tel. No.: (02) 734-8635 NCR Ugnayang Pag-asa, Legarda, Manila Tel. Nos.: (02) 734-8617 to 18

Philippine National Police (PNP) Women and Children’s Concern Division (WCCD) Tel. No.: (02) 723-0401 loc. 3480 Call or text 117 (PATROL 117)

National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) Violence Against Women and Children’s Desk (VAWCD) Tel. Nos.: (02) 523-8231 loc. 3403

DOJ Public Attorney’s Office Women's Desk
Tel. Nos.: (02) 929-9010; 929-9436 to 37

Philippine General Hospital (PGH) Women’s Desk Tel. Nos.: (02) 524-2990; 521-8450 loc. 3816

Women’s Crisis Center Women and Children Crisis Care & Protection Unit – East Avenue Medical Center (WCCCPU-EAMC) Tel. Nos.: (02) 926-7744; 922-5235

Hope and help for the battered woman (1)

“Violence against women is perhaps the most shameful human rights violation. It knows no boundaries of geography, culture or wealth. As long as it continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development and peace.”
UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan

Republic Act 9262 or the “Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004” is our country’s landmark law on domestic violence. Summer last year, through the coordination of the hardworking and dedicated Social Welfare Development Officers of the various LGUs in Region IV-A, I conducted seminars on RA 9264 for barangay officials, police officers, day care center workers and parents and other government employees,. I had the privilege of holding these seminars for Laguna (Kalayaan, Lumban, Victoria, Alaminos), Cavite City and Sto. Tomas, Batangas. I also conducted a seminar for Calabarzon social workers held at the DSWD Haven For Women in Ayala Alabang.

You can find the complete text of RA 9262 in my “Legal issues and family matters” website.

It’s sad to say, however, that a lot of barangay officials and police officers still do not know the provisions of RA 9262. In television news reports of domestic violence, I still hear of police officers filing cases of physical injuries, grave threats, etc. against abusive men, when the proper offense to be charged should have been any of those enumerated under Section 5 of RA 9262.


RA 9262 was fought for patiently by women’s groups, led by the National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW), for ten long years before it became a law in March 2004. Before we discuss the various important provisions of RA 9262, let me cite to you some of the statistics and information on violence against women. I got these statistics and information from my own research, and from a seminar sponsored by the Philippine Association of Christian Counselors and held at the Alliance Biblical Seminary in Quezon City, late 2004.

Statistics on domestic violence around the world
1. At least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.
2. Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.
3. In Brazil, a woman is abused every fifteen seconds.
4. In Great Britain, 100,000 women per year seek treatment for violent injuries received in the home. One to two women are killed by their male partners every week. 45% of murdered women are killed by their male partners.

Statistics on domestic violence in the USA1. Estimates range from 960,000 up to three million women being physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.
2. In 2001, more than half a million women were victims of nonfatal violence committed by an intimate partner.
3. As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during

Statistics on domestic violence in Canada
1. Some 27% of all victims of violent crimes were victims of family violence. Among all family violence victims, 62% were victims of spousal violence.
2. In 2002, females accounted for 85% of all victims of spousal violence. Young females aged 25-to-34 experienced the highest rates of spousal violence.
3. Children and youth under the age of 18 accounted for 61% of victims of sexual assault and 20% of all victims of physical assault.
4. In 2002, girls represented 79% of victims of family-related sexual assaults. Rates of sexual offenses were highest among girls between the ages of 11 and 14, with the highest at age 13 (165 per 100,000 females).

Statistics on domestic violence in Switzerland
1. 20% of women suffered from domestic violence, according to a 1997 study.
2. Currently, 12.6% of Swiss women or more than one in eight suffer from physical violence; 11.6% or one in nine had suffered sexual violence.

Honor crimes against womenJordan – 20 killings (1998)
Lebanon – 36 honor crimes (1996-1998)
Bangladesh – 200 women attacked with acid by husbands or relatives (1996-1998)
Pakistan – 850 women killed by husbands or family members; many cases not reported

Statistics on domestic violence in the Philippines

1. The PNP reported 5,058 cases of physical injury/wife battering in 2002. In previous years, the total number of cases was: 2,213 (1999); 3,824 (2000); and 5,668 (2001).
2. 90% of the victims in domestic violence cases were women.
3. 60% of these abused women suffered the abuse during pregnancy.
4. 90% experienced marital rape.
5. 60% had unwanted pregnancies.

These are just the reported cases, with the implication being that the actual number of abused women in the Philippines could be higher. Indeed the Social Weather Stations has reported the following findings:

A. 1.6 million women above the age of eighteen have suffered at least one instance of physical abuse from an intimate partner.

B. 2.8 million men have admitted to having physically harmed their intimate partners.

C. Of the 340 reported cases of domestic abuse in Bacolod, only 38 cases were actually filed in court.

Common injuries suffered by abused women (from the NCRFW Institutional Strengthening Project)

The violence against women ranges from verbal abuse (centered on how the woman has neglected her looks), to emotional battering (like accusing the woman of having affairs), withholding economic support and, in many instances, physical maltreatment.

Physical abuse has included: shoving, cutting off fingers, undressing a woman in front of other men, and calling her a whore, attempted burning, aiming a blowgun at a woman’s genital, beating with a hammer, raining fist blows, etc.

Myths about spousal abuse

1. Battering is primarily a woman’s fault; she must have provoked him by neglecting her chores, nagging, being unfaithful, etc.
2. She is exaggerating and would have left if the situation was that bad.
3. She should maintain family harmony and protect the husband’s name at all costs.
4. A man would stop the battering if the woman showed more sympathy to his remorse.

Why do abused women stay in abusive relationships (from Mary Ann Dutton, Dynamics of Domestic Violence: Understanding the Response from Battered Women)

1. Many women believe they cannot leave because “He can’t live without me.” They may fear that he will have a nervous breakdown, commit suicide, or lose his job.
2. She may believe that the children need a father, rationalizing that an abusive father is better than no father at all.
3. Many women fear that they will be killed if they leave an abusive relationship. Studies indeed show that battered women are more likely to be killed after leaving an abusive relationship
4. Abused women also convince themselves that things are going to get better.

Neil Jacobson and John Gottman in their study “When Men Batter Women” have observed that:

“The decision to leave an abusive husband and the actual process of doing so can be arduous, stretching over months or even years. Shame, self-blame, emotional dependence, fear of increased physical violence and the woman’s inability to “give up her dream of having a normal, loving relationship” can stop a woman from leaving.

“Violence paired with love creates an almost unbreakable emotional connection called “traumatic bonding.”

Reasons why abused women don’t leave their abusive partners (from the Women’s Legal Bureau and the NCRFW)

The man might still change for the better.
She still loves the man despite everything.
She can’t abide a broken family.
She’s doing it for the children.
She can’t support the children by herself.
She doesn’t want to be blamed by her parents for the break-up of the family.
She is afraid of what the husband can do to her.
The guy might take her kids.
She probably deserves the beating.
To maintain the good reputation of the man.
Wife-beating is part of the hazards of getting married; it’s just natural for women to get beaten up.
She pities the man because nobody else understands him, like she does.
If she improves herself, she won’t get beaten.
She’s afraid to be alone and lonely.
She doesn’t know she has rights not to be beaten.
It’s a family affair and others shouldn’t meddle.
He might lose his job if she calls the police.

The Mary Winkler case: A word for pastors’ wives and female church workers

On March 22, 2006, Mary Winkler, 32 years old, mother of three daughters with ages ranging from 1 to 8, and described as a quiet, unassuming grade school substitute teacher, killed her husband Matthew with a shotgun blast.

Considering the volume of violent crimes in the USA, Mary Winkler’s case would have just been featured in the news media of the small town of Selmer, Tennessee (where the crime happened) and its surrounding communities. Instead, this case has captured national media attention in the US and has caused enormous worldwide traffic on the Internet.

Why? Primarily because Mary Winkler was a pastor’s wife, her husband Matthew being a 3rd generation pastor from the Church of Christ denomination.

Mary Winkler was arrested in Alabama several days after the crime. She had driven there with her three daughters – Breanna, 1; Mary Alice, 6; and Patricia, 8. Her daughters (who didn’t witness the shooting) are now under the care of their paternal grandparents.

After her arrest, Mary Winkler confessed to the police authorities as to why she killed her husband. But police officials have kept mum about the motive, except to say that marital infidelity wasn’t an issue. Due to Mary’s waiver of a preliminary hearing (where prosecutors would have been obligated to reveal part of their evidence), the motive has remained unknown to the media and the public.

Mary’s lawyer, Steve Farese (who’s handling the case on a pro bono basis), has floated to the media the possible defenses of post partum depression or temporary insanity.

Mary is scheduled next to face a grand jury investigation on whether first degree murder charges would be filed against her.

Other news items since Mary’s arrest have reported that (1) her youngest sister Patricia died at age eight of spinal meningitis; (2) her mother died of cancer in 1999; and (3) she never talked about her father after her mother’s death.

To their small congregation at Fourth Street Church of Christ in Selmer (population 4,600), the Winklers seemed like a perfect couple. But for one reason or another, Mary Winkler cracked and shot dead her husband.

H.B. London works for the Focus on the Family ministry, and is known as a “pastor to the pastors.” In the website www.parsonage.org, London says this about pastor’s wives:

It’s hard to be a pastor these days. But it’s often even harder to be married to one. Your life is filled with expectations – from everyone you know and many you have never met. Your congregation, your community, your kids and even your parents and siblings expect you to think, feel and behave in a particular way – and often, these expectations are in conflict with each other, not to mention how they match or don’t match your own expectations and dreams for yourself.

Fundamentalist groups often criticize Dr. James Dobson and his Focus on the Family ministry for its ecumenical outlook. Setting aside for the moment this criticism, www.parsonage.org does offer a lot of helpful and informative articles and resources for pastors’ wives. Some of these articles are the following:

(1) A Salute to the Pastor’s Wife, by H.B. London
(2) Fill Her Up, by Jill Briscoe
(3) Friends, by Colleen Evans
(4) It Wasn’t Even Monday, by Jill Briscoe
(5) Making Friends When You’re a Ministry Wife, by Mary Manz Simon
(6) Riding the Ministry-Family Seesaw, by Walt and Fran Becker
(7) The High Chair Day, by Jane Rubietta
(8) What Pastors’ Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Them, by Barbara Milioni

Perhaps the most memorable and riveting article from this website is “How to Encourage Your Pastor’s Wife.” Written by Donna Bordelon Alder, it tells the true story of a pastor’s wife described as blonde, beautiful, graceful and slender. For one reason or another however, that pastor’s wife “in a white, northeast winter Sunday, while her children and husband were in church, committed suicide in the parsonage.” In her article, Alder enumerates the findings of her research (which she undertook as some sort of catharsis after the death by suicide of that unnamed pastor’s wife.) Some of her eye-opening findings are:

[1] Most pastors’ wives in her survey have had recurrent, obtrusive thoughts of escaping from the ministry in some irresponsible manner.

[2] Sixty three percent of pastors’ wives said what they liked most about being in ministry was meeting and helping people.

[3] The top two things that bother them are people who reject God after all their efforts, and not having enough willing workers. Forty four percent said they are most discouraged by unresponsive people.

[4] Forty seven percent said the thing they disliked most about ministry was other people’s expectations of them.

[5] Eighty eight percent of pastors’ wives have experienced periods of depression.

[6] Twenty four percent felt the greatest pressure came from themselves. Many feel frustrated that they cannot seem to be what they think a pastor’s wife should be.

[7] Many pastors’ wives long for a female friend in whom to confide.

Alder in her article suggests several practical ways by which people in the church can help encourage their pastor’s wife.

One other website which you might be interested in is that of the Global Pastors’ Wives Network at http://www.gpwn.org/.

In my Advanced Composition class at the Asia Baptist Bible College, a required reading for my second year students is “Fit To Be Tied” by Bill and Lynne Hybels, specifically the chapters entitled “Getting Lost Along The Way” and “Living in Crisis Mode.” I may not agree with Bill Hybels’ methodology but “Fit To Be Tied” is probably the best book I have ever read on relationships and marriage.

In “Getting Lost Along The Way,” Lynne Hybels very honestly describes her travails and frustrations as a pastor’s wife. In one memorable portion (page191), Lynne says about herself,

But I am so tired. I feel so empty. It’s like someone drained the life out of me.

I feel like a robot … but not quite. I wish I were a robot. Then I could just program myself to do everything I am supposed to do. And not care. And not desire. And not feel. And not hurt. And not have a little core of individuality that yelps occasionally.

Is this what life is supposed to be? Is this the best I can do?

Throughout the summer months the frustration, the emptiness, intensified. I felt increasingly like a vacuous shell, like an image with no substance. I realized, as I looked deep inside, that there was “nobody home.” There was no person inside. No me.

If you are a pastor’s wife or a female church worker, I highly recommend that you read these chapters. “Fit To Be Tied” is originally published by Zondervan but reprinted here in the Philippines by Christian Literature Crusade, and is readily available in bookstores at around one hundred eighty pesos.

I understand that the Baptist Missions Partners, a grouping of churches in the Philippines led by my childhood friend Ptr. Edwin Tan, has held for the last two years a conference for pastors’ wives and female church workers. It’s my sincere hope that wives of Baptist pastors here in the Philippines, whether within their own groupings or cutting across Baptist affiliations, could get together in a regular fellowship to help one another deal with the tough challenges facing them.