Relationship tips for Lauren Alaina

Okay, okay, I’ve got admit it, I really like Lauren Alaina, Casey Abrams, and Haley Reinhart from American Idol season 10. I’m not really an Idol fan; previous to Season 10, I have seen only about four or five episodes in the previous nine seasons. But I have managed to watch most of the episodes this season. I still think Casey with his upright bass should have won instead of Scotty Mcreery.

(The previous episodes I remember seeing were in Season 1 with Simon Cowell telling a guy with curly hair that he’s got the X-factor; in Season 4 with Bo Bice singing “Time in a Bottle”, Carrie Underwood singing “Angels brought me here”, and the season finale. I remember rushing home to Metro Manila after an RA 9262 “Anti-Violence against Women” seminar I gave in Victoria, Laguna in order to watch the finale.)

Lauren’s a tough 16-year old girl. A week ago, during the Portland stop in the American Idol 2011 summer tour, she fell down the stairs, breaking her left ankle and sustaining a 3rd degree sprain. But she hasn’t missed any of the Idol concerts after her accident. With her left foot in a heavy, protective boot, she has been performing, limping around the stage, sometimes using a cane, and obviously in great pain. Lauren’s grit has inspired the Alainers (as her fans call themselves).

Ever since Lauren and Scotty sang “I told you so” during a results night episode, there have been tons of online buzz about a possible romance between them. They do look and sound great together and their “McLaina” fans can’t get enough of them. But Scotty has set the record straight by saying that they’re only brother and sister. Judging from the way Lauren’s eyes light up when she looks at Scotty and the way Scotty seems to be aloof during their performances, I think it’s a one-way street. Lauren’s romantically interested in Scotty but Scotty sees her only as a sister. Oh, brother!

(It’s like Booth and Brennan in reverse. It’s Season 6 already and Brennan hasn’t responded to Booth’s romantic feelings. When will they ever get together? Hmm, does Scotty have a Hannah back home in North Carolina?)

Lauren and millions of other people who can’t seem to get the attention of the one they love should get their cue from Dr. James Dobson’s bestselling and multi-awarded book “Love Must Be Tough”. This book discusses the tough love approach to marital infidelity but the chapter titled “Loving Toughness for Singles” deals with 16 suggestions on romantic relationships for single men and women.

Dr. Dobson says that the basic principles in human relationships are:

[1] “It is of highest priority to maintain a distinct element of dignity and self-respect in all romantic encounters.”

[2] “We value that which we are fortunate to get; we discredit that which we are stuck.”

In the chapter titled “Loving Toughness for Singles”, Dr. Dobson enumerates 16 suggestions that will help singles to “conform to the principles of loving toughness in matters of the heart.” You can read online the complete suggestions part 1 and part 2 from the Arcamax website. What Lala (as fans call Lauren) should learn and apply in her quest for Scotty’s heart is principle number 6. Dr. Dobson says:

Relationships are constantly being “tested” by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. This testing procedure takes many forms, but it usually involves pulling back from the other person to see what will happen. Perhaps a foolish fight is initiated. Maybe two weeks will pass without a phone call. Or sometimes flirtation occurs with a rival.

In each instance, the question being asked is, “How important am I to you, and what would you do if you lost me?” An even more basic issue lies below that one: “How free am I to leave if I want to?” It is incredibly important in these instances to appear poised, secure and equally independent. Do not grasp the other person and beg for mercy. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs.

Lauren has already shown her mental and emotional toughness by continuing to perform despite great pain. In her quest for Scotty’s heart, she should exhibit the same toughness and follow Dr. Dobson’s advice of being poised, secure, and independent. Even if Scotty doesn’t seem to be reciprocating her feelings, she should hang tough with dignity and self-respect.

Lauren should give Scotty the space he needs to contemplate a possible relationship with her. Scotty should not feel “obligated” to love her because of the hopes and wishes of their McLaina fans. As Dr. Dobson writes in page 30 of his book, love should not be an obligation but an incredibly wonderful privilege.

Will Lauren ever win Scotty’s heart? Will the Alainers ever get to see a real life McLaina romance? Maybe we’ll find out before American Idol’s season 11 starts airing in January next year.

Now, about Casey and Haley … Ca-ley! Ca-ley!