The family that Internets together stays together?

I am sure that you have heard of Fr. Patrick Peyton’s famous quotation “The family that prays together stays together.” If we are to believe however a BBC news story entitled “Hi-tech brings families together” based on a Pew Internet report, it is now the Internet and mobile phones that are keeping families together. Consider some of the findings of the report:

[1] The Internet was often a social activity within families, with 51% of parents saying they browsed the web with their children.

[2] Using the Internet was often a social activity within families, with 51% of parents saying they browsed the web with their children.

[3] “Nuclear” families were more likely to have more hi-tech gadgetry in their home than almost any other group in the study. Multiple mobile phones were found in 89% of nuclear families and 66% had a high-speed net connection. The US national average for broadband is 52%. It also found that 58% of this type of family was likely to have more than two computers in the home.

[4] Many people use their mobile phone to keep in touch and maintain social ties with parents, siblings and children. Seventy percent of couples who both own a mobile use it every day to chat or say hello. In addition, it found, 42% of parents contact their children via their mobile every day.

[5] Fifty three percent of those questioned said that new technologies had increased the quality of their contact with distant family members, while 47% said it improved interaction with those they live with.

Any increase in time spent among family members is good news indeed. However, all is not well on this issue of the Internet and family ties.

Online murder, she wrote

Consider for example the Associated Press report by Mari Yamaguchi entitled “Online divorcee jailed after killing virtual hubby.. The report stated that a 43-year old Japanese woman is currently facing a possible five year prison term or a fine of five thousand dollars for carrying out a virtual murder of her online husband in a popular interactive game. (Those of you who know about or are involved in “Half-Life” are familiar with the online world of relationships, avatars, social interactions and even real life business dealings.)

Well, according to the AP report, the woman’s avatar was divorced by her online digital husband. That sudden divorce made her so angry that she committed virtual murder by killing off her man’s online persona. She was not arrested for the virtual murder but for hacking into the man's account.

Chat rooms and online affairs: from virtual to real

I had previously written about the dangers to children brought by Internet pornography and to marriages by online affairs in chat rooms. Perhaps it’s a good idea for you to re-read that post about the dangers to children brought by the Internet. As to online affairs in chat rooms, here’s the specific portion of that post:

Probe Ministries, in an article by Kerby Anderson, points out a danger that lonely and bored housewives are falling into, that is, online affairs or the allure of cyber-relationships. Anderson, citing the work of Peggy Vaughn, states:

Peggy Vaughn is the author of “The Monogamy Myth” and also serves as an expert for America Online on problems caused by infidelity. She predicts that one “role of the Internet in the future will be as a source of affairs.” She is writing a second book on the subject of adultery and says she could base half of it just on the letters she receives from people who started an affair online.

An online affair (or cyberaffair) is an intimate or sexually explicit communication between a married person and someone other than their spouse that takes place on the Internet. Usually this communication takes place through an online service such as America Online or CompuServe. Participants usually visit a chat room to begin a group conversation and then often move into a one-to-one mode of communication. Chat room categories range from “single and liking it” to “married and flirting” to “naked on the keyboard.”

Women in a chat room are often surprised at what develops in a fairly short period of time. At first the conversation is stimulating, though flirtatious. Quickly, however, women are often confronted with increasingly sexual questions and comments. Even if the comments don’t turn personal, women find themselves quickly sharing intimate information about themselves and their relationships that they would never share with someone in person. Peggy Vaughn says, “Stay-at-home moms in chat rooms are sharing all this personal stuff they are hiding from their partners.” She finds that the intensity of women’s online relationships can “quickly escalate into thinking they have found a soulmate.” [emphasis by boldfacing supplied - GTG]

Online affairs differ from physical world affairs in some ways, but are similar in others. Cyberaffairs are based upon written communication where a person may feel more free to express herself anonymously than in person. Frequently the communication becomes sexually graphic and kinky in ways that probably would not occur if a real person were hearing these comments and could act on them. Participants in an online affair will often tell their life stories and their innermost secrets. They will also create a new persona, become sexually adventurous, and pretend to be different than they really are. [emphasis by boldfacing supplied - GTG]

In that AP news report I mentioned above, Japanese police officers who arrested the woman said that she did not plot to carry out her revenge in the real world. Okay but I do question the state of mind of a person whose emotions can get so carried away by an imaginary, online world.

As to chat rooms and cyber-affairs, I personally know of one marriage that was shattered because the wife became involved in a real-life adulterous relationship with a man she had been chatting with in a singles chat room.